My feet are glued... when I should be running

July 20th  

I’m disappointed in myself. July was a month I’d looked forward to with anticipation and expectation - and if I’m honest a little of anxiety. I was coming to find adventure and revival, yet here I sit, on a comfortable recliner, lounging in front of the TV. Music jamming in the back ground. Even though a week ago, I arrived a little bit out of my comfort zone, it isn’t that way anymore –this could be home. Looking back on my week, I realize I’ve missed opportunities for adventure, and I’ve chosen to settle and chill instead of getting out and reviving myself. All week I’ve put off anything too intense. I’ve expected God to meet me where I am, instead of getting out and meeting Him.

At home, it didn’t seem like I’d had opportunities for anything extremely radical, but now I’m away and it hits me that I have a huge habit to chill.

It’s my fault. It’s my fault that I don’t sacrifice my Saturday morning sleep to get up before the sun rises and get into the Word. Until now I didn’t realize that I’ve missed the unusual occasion to let God move not because He isn’t ready to move, but because I’m still standing still. I always wait for God to initiate our interaction, when I should be providing and offering my time and worship. God stands at my door and knocks, but my music is much too loud to hear Him, and on certain days where I’m buried in a good book, I have that door locked up tighter than a bank. My feet are glued to the ground, when I should be running the race.

All through Jesus’ life the things He did challenged us. He fasted for forty days! He healed people. He brought people back from the dead! He got up before the sun rose. He prayed so hard that His sweat was blood. He died the worst death possible. It seems to me that Jesus lived one day even better than the last.

So I ask myself one hard question: Is today going to be even better than yesterday? (Will it be hard to make it better? Ha.) Today will be better, because I’m rising to the challenge! Now that I’ve realized what I am (lazy), I’m going to fight this, because I don’t want to be content. I don’t want to be content, or disappointed in myself, or anxious. I want to be radical and Christ-like and running.

Will you rise to the challenge that Jesus set before you?

Heavenly companion

Last week, for nine days I went to the South Texas Children's Home in Beevill

July 20^th

I met a girl today at the pool. She was the newest girl to come to the home –just arrived this afternoon. She seemed lost. That was a good way to explain the look in her eyes. Overwhelmed –there’s another good word. Her eyes were curious, as if she didn’t understand why I was being so friendly. While we were swimming, slowly she opened up to me. Through a series of events, she told a few of the other STCH Kids and me why she had come to live at the children’s home. “I had a lot of trouble with school,” she told us with a shrug. “So my parents just sent me here.” Now, I’m not sure if she had trouble academically or socially, but as she spoke the words “my parents just sent me here” you could hear the hurt and confusion. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and tell her “God wants you. He won’t send you away and He will never leave you or forsake you. You’ll always have God.” I will pray that someone does tell her that.

I slowly got to know this girl for the next few days. On Sunday as I was saying goodbye, it was her I went to last. I didn’t want to say goodbye to her. I was ready to come home, but if I could have brought this girl with me, I would have. I had only known this girl a total of three days, and had only spent a few hours with her, but I already loved her as my sister. When I told her I had to go home, that I was leaving, she felt the same as I did –regretful that there wasn’t more time. She would have been a great friend. Pray with me that she will get in a relationship with Jesus, because then she will not only be my sister, and friend, but also a Heavenly companion for eternity.

This is a hard one for me to write, that’s why it’s taken so long and why it’s so short. The words did not come easy for me, but it was a story worth telling.

He can handle that.

               I’m not sure why God’s divine involvement in my life always surprises me, but it’s true –He never ceases to amaze me. This particular story had been long in coming. It started July 2011, at Piney Woods Camp. My dream to open a girls home in my area was blossoming uncontrollably, and also I was feeling convicted about not taking my knowledge about Christ over-seas. The speaker at camp showed a video of kids overseas in Kenya, at a Children’s Home, that took me straight to tears. After he preached, my group and I walked out the doors and I was still in tears. Looking to my dad, I said, “I have to go.” He nodded and I rushed back inside, looking for the speaker. Crying, I told him my story, how I’d wanted to build a girls home in my area for a long time, and how I now wanted to go overseas to a children’s home. This man, with so much compassion in his eyes, looked at me and said “Have you ever met a woman named Becky Moore? She lives in Texas, at a Children’s Home as the director of student ministry.” He paused then said, “She’s here, at piney woods, this week.” No way! Praise the Lord! Both of us at camp in the same week!? That’s gotta be God, for sure!

               So the speaker set up a time for me to meet Ms. Becky Moore, and she heard my story, and invited me to come and visit her children’s home. So I did. September of 2011, my mom and I went to South Texas Children’s Home (STCH) for a weekend. She invited me to come back anytime. Thus, I planned a trip for July 2012. Seventeen days at STCH –a place that modeled my dreams.

               And the waiting game began. I had at least six months to wait. In the mean time, my oldest brother, Hugh, left for a yearlong mission trip to travel the world. In March he told me that I needed to plan to come overseas with him sometime in 2013 and I said ‘sure’. I was yearning to go overseas with a conviction that everyone is called to take the gospel, everywhere. (I was called overseas and so was everyone else who was a disciple: Matt. 28:19.) But still, I had to wait. God was surely doing marvelous things while I was waiting.

Meanwhile, I got a job at a day care. I had already warned them about my trip to STCH, but I was filling out papers to ask off officially, and I felt God telling me to ask off for more days than I was; a total of twenty days. Long story short; I didn’t, until some interesting news came up. Surely it was no mistake that while I would be at STCH, schedules conflicted and Ms. Becky, whom I would be living with there, realized that while I would be there, she wouldn’t! She was going to be leading a mission trip overseas to the Dominican Republic, on July 28^th – August 2^nd, staying at a Children’s Home there and doing some light construction. Bless Ms. Becky –she invited me to go! Hardly did she know that I had felt God calling me overseas. Yet God knew it all. I told her that I would be absolutely delighted to go to the D.R. with her. Seeing as God had already told me to ask off for those dates I felt like that was my answer from Him that I needed to go. That would mean eleven days at STCHM, and seven days at a children’s home in the D.R. and that is a total of how many days (plus travel)? Oh, twenty. Go figure.

And my mind is blown. Yet, the devil tried to crawl in, telling me ‘twenty days. That’s a long time. Won’t you get homesick? How will you handle it? You’ll be missing lots of exciting things here. You will miss your family and friends and church family. What about your horse? Three weeks is a long time. Maybe you shouldn’t go.’ The devil invaded my thoughts, making me insecure, scared, terrified, nervous, and timid. The butterflies of excitement slowly turned into a bolder to drown me. My brain was pulled in every direction of worry. Finally I had a day with Micayla and let it all out (a big job for me) and she looked at me and shook her head. “Candice, God told you to go on this trip, right?” “Uhuh.” “So why are you freaking out? He knows you’ll get homesick, and He can handle that. Give it over to Him and He’ll take care of you.” He can handle that. Sha-bam! Instantly, my boulder transformed back into butterflies. My crazy best friend had just defeated the devil with just simple truth.

               So amid my small bit of fear, large amount of anxiousness, and extreme excitement, I am going to leave home, following the One that can handle it. AHH! Deep breaths, Candice. Please, please, pray for me as I spiritually get prepared to go. Also, pray that God will provide everything from money to peace.

Shootin' The Breeze

If you sing the pink panther theme while doing something sneaky, it increases your stealth abilities by 50%

"My love of napping is borderline inspirational."

“Perhaps we should just eat jello, not be jello.” -Chad Eastham

"I saw a butterfly on the ground with no wings, so I poured some red bull on it and BAM!!.. it drowned." -some kid

Facebook is like a fridge, you know nothing new is inside it but you check every ten minutes.

[Michael Scott]:
If I were joking you would be laughing. Do you look like you're laughing?
[Dwight Schrute]:
Impossible to say, I can't see myself.
[Michael Scott]:
You're not.

"My biological father has a Facebook album dedicated to his planking. I don’t think I’ve ever been this ashamed." (Megan)

“I had a dream about you last night. I wanted to dream about Jason Bateman, so I’m kind of annoyed with you at the moment.” Jenny Jones

"Ask to be my prom date within the next five minutes and you get a free egg slicer! Plus shipping and handling."  @KaylaThePope

God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway; the good fortune to run into the ones I do; and the eyesight to tell the difference.

A best friend will talk with you about a boy you’re thinking about, but a crazy best friend will blurt out "she likes you & wants to be yours!" right to his face.

Genie: All right, sparky, here's the deal. If you wanna court the little lady, ya gotta be a straight shooter. Do ya got it? TELL HER THE TRUTH!!!!!!!!! -Aladin

Light travels faster than sound; this is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
 

Smiling is infectious: you catch it like the flu. When someone smiled at me today it made me smile too, I passed around the corner and someone saw my grin and when he smiled I realized I’d passed it on to him. I thought about that smile and realized what its worth- a single smile, just like mine, could travel 'round the earth. So if you feel a smile begin don’t leave it undetected, let's start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected. (Author Unknown)

Wasting My Time

So I don't watch a lot of TV, but when I do it had better be worth the waste of my time.

I rather like Nikita, which comes on at (I think) 8pm, on Fridays. It's got the suspense, romance, action, and everything all in one. Plus, the acting is really really good and that always makes anything better. I haven't been keeping up with it very well, but the good thing about it is that you don't have to watch regularly to know what's going on.

Also, the Big Bang Theory comes on every week night, and although sometimes it can get a little risky, on a good day it is totally hilarious! I'm pretty much cracking up the whole time, it's so funny. Just gotta be careful when you watch that one.

When I'm up too late, I watch Criminal Minds. It educates me on crazy people and how to deal with them. Yet sometimes I get a little freaked out about how crazy people those people really are, but by that time I'm so caught up, I can't help but finish watching.

My dad likes to watch American Idol, which I am just not into anymore. I don't like the singers, and I don't like their songs, and I don't really like the judging. So most of the time I just groan my way through it and waste my time.
I rather like The Voice though. I like the new sounds for the singers. I like that the auditions are so different and that the leader people can't see the singers. And I also like the leaders. It's pretty entertaining. Along with the X-Factor. I kept up with that pretty well and I enjoyed it.

Tonight I wasted my time flipping back and forth between American Idol and The Big Bang. I will not be drug in my Criminal Minds! I refuse! I have books to read and reality to escape from. Speaking of reading...

All That Jazz

                               An exerpt from a book I'm writing;

                       All That Jazz:

I decided it was either time to begin my story again or to finish it for good. The only problem was I didn’t know how to say good-bye.

Stepping over the fence I started to climb up the cliffs, pulse racing and hands shaking. I took a path that I knew too well –a path that I will never be able to forget. As I reached the very top I went to the edge, tears streaming down my face, seeing the scene from oh-so long ago right in front of me, as if I were sixteen again. It had all happened so fast, just a few seconds, but by three-Mississippi my life had already changed. Because the next thing I knew, my dad was falling and I called out to him but what could I do? He was already gone. I wanted to go to the edge and look, you know. But I was afraid. 
Then, there I was, staring off in the distance, letting the cold ocean breeze flow over my face and dry my tears. I closed my eyes, realizing the regret. I was sorry. Sorry that I hadn’t let myself forget. Sorry that I felt such jealousy to how happy my dad was when he was alive. And I was disappointed. In myself and in the way things turned out.

I realized I missed my chance a long time ago. I wouldn't ever be able to say goodbye.

Artsy

Artsy = Adjective: Making a strong, affected, or pretentious display of being artistic or interested in the arts.

I'm taking an Art class this semester and last Wednesday we looked at Figure Ground.

These are the pictures we looked at

This one weirds my eyes out because I can never decide what to focus on, the white or black. The white is two faces, the black is a vase, and I can never decide which to focus on.

A guy playing a tuba, and then a woman's face.

A cat eating a cat.

Apparently this one is a young lady turned away, which I can see. But then again there's supposedly another old lady in there. Can you see her? I still can't see the old lady and it's really, really bothering me.

I would like to include that no copy write is intended in the stealing borrowing of these photos.

It's purely educational, you see.

Could you find all the diffrent images?