July 20th
I’m disappointed in myself. July was a month I’d looked forward to with anticipation and expectation - and if I’m honest a little of anxiety. I was coming to find adventure and revival, yet here I sit, on a comfortable recliner, lounging in front of the TV. Music jamming in the back ground. Even though a week ago, I arrived a little bit out of my comfort zone, it isn’t that way anymore –this could be home. Looking back on my week, I realize I’ve missed opportunities for adventure, and I’ve chosen to settle and chill instead of getting out and reviving myself. All week I’ve put off anything too intense. I’ve expected God to meet me where I am, instead of getting out and meeting Him.
At home, it didn’t seem like I’d had opportunities for anything extremely radical, but now I’m away and it hits me that I have a huge habit to chill.
It’s my fault. It’s my fault that I don’t sacrifice my Saturday morning sleep to get up before the sun rises and get into the Word. Until now I didn’t realize that I’ve missed the unusual occasion to let God move not because He isn’t ready to move, but because I’m still standing still. I always wait for God to initiate our interaction, when I should be providing and offering my time and worship. God stands at my door and knocks, but my music is much too loud to hear Him, and on certain days where I’m buried in a good book, I have that door locked up tighter than a bank. My feet are glued to the ground, when I should be running the race.
All through Jesus’ life the things He did challenged us. He fasted for forty days! He healed people. He brought people back from the dead! He got up before the sun rose. He prayed so hard that His sweat was blood. He died the worst death possible. It seems to me that Jesus lived one day even better than the last.
So I ask myself one hard question: Is today going to be even better than yesterday? (Will it be hard to make it better? Ha.) Today will be better, because I’m rising to the challenge! Now that I’ve realized what I am (lazy), I’m going to fight this, because I don’t want to be content. I don’t want to be content, or disappointed in myself, or anxious. I want to be radical and Christ-like and running.
Will you rise to the challenge that Jesus set before you?
Hey, there. Have I told you lately that I love you? Or that you are such an inspiration to me? If I haven't (and I probably haven't) let me amend that now. I love you, like my friend, like my family, like my sister in Christ. You inspire me; you are so kind to everybody, and you strive to live as Christ would want you to live. And even if we are separated in the future when we are all grown up, I will never forget you, and never stop wanting to talk to you again, and just "hang out". So, just remember, I love you and what you are doing to follow Christ and walk in the Light.
ReplyDelete~Anna
Anna :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for being such an amazing friend and for loving me as a sister! Your friendship is a treasure to me always.